Understanding Anxiety in Children: A Guide for Parents

What is General Child Anxiety?

What it looks like: Child anxiety can manifest in many ways and often involves worries that seem to jump from topic to topic. A child with general anxiety might worry about:

• School performance or grades

• Family safety or health concerns

• Natural disasters or scary news events

• Monsters, the dark, or imaginary threats

• Physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause

  
  

Common behaviors:

• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares

• Excessive need for reassurance ("What if...?" questions)

• Perfectionism or fear of making mistakes

• Physical complaints before stressful situations

• Emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate to the situation

  
  

Recognizing Social Anxiety in Children

Social anxiety is more specific and centers around fear of social situations and being judged by others. This goes beyond typical shyness.

Key signs of social anxiety:

• Intense fear of speaking in front of others (even familiar people)

• Avoiding social activities, playdates, or group situations

• Physical symptoms before social events (nausea, sweating, trembling)

• Fear of embarrassment or making mistakes in front of others

• Difficulty making friends or maintaining friendships

• Reluctance to participate in classroom activities

• Extreme distress about being the center of attention

  
  

The difference: While a child with general anxiety might worry about many things, a child with social anxiety specifically fears social judgment and evaluation.

When Social Anxiety Becomes a Crisis

Recent data shows alarming increases in childhood mental health crises. Social anxiety can escalate when:

• Children begin avoiding school or important activities

• They develop depression alongside their anxiety

• Eating patterns change dramatically (sometimes leading to eating disorders)

• Self-harm behaviors emerge

• Complete social withdrawal occurs

  
  

Age-Specific Manifestations of Anxiety

Preschoolers (3-5 years)

• Excessive clinginess to parents

• Meltdowns when meeting new people

• Refusing to speak in certain settings (selective mutism)

  
  

Elementary Age (6-11 years)

• School avoidance or frequent nurse visits

• Difficulty participating in group activities

• Worry about peer acceptance

  
  

Adolescents (12+ years)

• Social media anxiety and comparison

• Fear of dating or romantic relationships

• Academic performance anxiety due to peer pressure

  
  

Supporting Your Child: Practical Strategies

For General Anxiety

1. Create predictable routines that help your child feel secure.

2. Teach coping strategies like deep breathing or counting techniques.

3. Limit exposure to scary news or overwhelming information.

4. Validate their feelings while gently challenging catastrophic thinking.

   
   

For Social Anxiety

1. Practice social situations in low-stakes environments.

2. Role-play challenging scenarios at home.

3. Build confidence gradually through small social successes.

4. Focus on effort over outcome when they try social activities.

   
   

For Both Types of Anxiety

• Maintain consistent bedtime routines.

• Use calming activities like reading together.

• Model healthy coping strategies yourself.

• Seek professional help when needed.

  
  

When to Seek Professional Help

Contact a mental health professional if:

• Anxiety interferes with daily functioning for more than 6 months.

• Your child expresses thoughts of self-harm.

• School performance dramatically declines.

• Physical symptoms persist without medical explanation.

• Family relationships are significantly strained.

  
  

The Power of Understanding

Remember, both general anxiety and social anxiety are treatable conditions. Many children who receive appropriate support go on to develop strong coping skills and lead fulfilling lives. As parents, your understanding and patience make an enormous difference. Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is simply acknowledge your child's experience and let them know they're not alone in facing these challenges.

Moving Forward Together

If you're concerned about your child's anxiety, trust your instincts. Early intervention often leads to better outcomes, and there are many effective treatments available today. The journey of supporting an anxious child can feel overwhelming, but remember that seeking information and help is already a significant step toward healing.

Dr. Sandra Muñoz is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and CEO of The Children's Healing Institute, where she has supported hundreds of families over her 25-year career.

Resources:

• National Institute of Mental Health - Anxiety Disorders in Children

• Anxiety and Depression Association of America